i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
