STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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