I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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