I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
