I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
