You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize