if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
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