Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
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what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
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I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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