I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Randomize
