A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
