Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
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