I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
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I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
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Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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