Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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