kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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