You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I just found puke in my bra..
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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