I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize