I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize