i jhust puked up my retainher.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
