He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Randomize
