There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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