if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
May the power of my ass compel you!!
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize