if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
23 People Confess The Lamest Things They’ve Ever Done To Fit In
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
These 27 Texts Prove Pets Make Better BFFs Than Humans
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.