I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me