I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
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Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex