found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
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