Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
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