my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
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We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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