Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize