based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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