Already got asked if we're dating
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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