accomplished twins. life is a go
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Randomize
