sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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