he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
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she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
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The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
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