When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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