I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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