i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
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its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
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I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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