Don't you send me to vm
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize