You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
