it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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