But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation