I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
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Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
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I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...