i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.