Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
my mouth tastes like poor choices
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet