I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night