How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
People with herpes should wear stickers.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to