Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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