Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just put wine in my tea
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize