It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Randomize
