I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
