Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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