Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs