I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'll put lettuce on them
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
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Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
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Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.