ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
