i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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