dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
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Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
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We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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