I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize