I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
